Women...can't live with 'em, can't hide from them.

As my title implies, this post is going to be about women.  I figured it was high-time I talked about our PMS'ing counter-parts the same way they talk about us men all the time.  Now, let's start off with one simple fact that relates to all humans: nobody is fucking perfect.  Time and time again I see women all pissed off and livid at how men in their lives are the cause of all their problems.  Lets take a step back and look at the situation from afar:

1.  Is it REALLY their fault, or are you just too quick to judge?  Try putting the blame on yourself.

2.  There are a lot of things that can happen between you and your man that others have already experienced.  It's not like you're any different from them, yet you act like you've been singled out.

3.  Men are assholes a lot of the time; I get that...but are ALL of them the same?  Certainly not.

4.  There are points in a man's life where he himself blames the women for his troubles.  At this point, men and women are like cats and dogs: they just aren't going to get along any time soon, and there is no use trying.

5.  Quite possibly the most important truth ever is this: crying about your problems aren't going to solve them!  Get off your fat ass and deal with it like an actual grown-up.  If you can't, you're clearly not an adult, and won't be treated like one.  Grow the fuck up.

When we find ourselves in another relationship, more often than not we tend to look for flaws right off the bat.  Is he good-looking enough?  Is she a bitch at heart?  Does he shower regularly?  Is she clingy?   Many things are going through our heads at the start of the relationship.  Too often, people are blinded by the bad things when seeing the good is all that matters.

For example, I know I'm not the best-looking guy on the planet, but I also know that some women don't care.  It's awfully hard to find a woman that would rather date a self-less, caring, compassionate Sasquatch than to date a selfish, disobedient, non-compliant, good-looking asshole.  Seriously ladies; if you're THAT worried about what your gene pool is going to look like when you mate with godzilla, then maybe you wish life was like the movie GATTACA, where you could pick the traits of your offspring.  Good looking men are not always saints, and it's hard for guys like me to be in the dating business when all the assholes and rich boys are picking up girls left and right.

The dating scheme is flawed in so many ways that I care to mention.

I've noticed something rather peculiar in women.  The last time I went to the bar, there was a group of rather good-looking women talking to a group of guys off in the corner.  Maybe they knew each other, and maybe they didn't, but one thing stood out to me: what is it about the way men talk to women that makes them better than other men?  Charisma can go a long way in business moves, but when it comes to women, all you really have to do is pay attention to them.  Don't stare at their boobs or fiddle with your cell phone, pretending that you're paying attention.  The group of men that were chatting with the women were feeling them up, staring at their chests, offering them drinks, and more or less making a fool of themselves.

I know for a FACT that I wouldn't be caught DEAD feeling up a girl, or shoving drinks down their throat.  There has to be some switch that women can flick on and off that make them disregard what's really going on around them.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the guy clearly wants to get you in bed (on the other hand, it is true what they say about most men: they daydream about sex almost 24/7), and that he's trying to get you drunk to make it easier for him.

I thought dating was supposed to be about the challenge that two people face together: whether or not they can handle being around each other for more than 2 hours without picking a fight.  It seems that dating, or "courting" in the olden-days, has changed dramatically over the past few years.  Nothing is ever simple anymore; if a guy is conversing with you, that means he just wants sex, right?  Wrong.  I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would talk to a girl because I was generally interested in who she is, what she does, and who she is interested in.  If there is a girl that I know is out of my league, I won't talk to her at all.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is hard enough without girls and guys bitching about their significant others all the time.  If it doesn't work out, then move onto the next one, leave that guy in the dust, and branch out.  Don't look for just the good-looking rich boys, but also for the ones who were left behind.  They have feelings too, and it hurts when you won't even give them an explanation as to why you're not interested.

This is not necessarily a spite post, but rather an epiphany that I had the other day.  This is an all-points-bulletin, shouting out to the people of the world.  Grow up, people, and give others a chance to try and make you happy.  Spread your wings.  Meet other guys and girls.  Don't seclude yourself to a "type".  There is no fucking "type".

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Joke of the Day

If Men Had Vaginas

10.  Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9.  Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8.  See if they could finally do splits.

7.  See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6.  Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5.  Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...BEFORE closing.

4.  Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3.  Go to the gynaecologist for a pelvic examination and ask to have it recorded on video.

2.  Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.

AND the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up and had a vagina:

1.  Finally find that DAMNED G-SPOT!